It's definitely fairly embarrassing to have my first post be about
Tinder, and what adds to the embarrassment is that all that comes into
my head whilst thinking about it is #hatersgonnahate.
For
those of you who are still reading this despite the fact I hashtagged,
quoted Taylor Swift lyrics and mentioned Tinder, thank you and may your
lives be blessed.
I am here to present to you
my UNWRITTEN TINDER RULES. Some of you may be saying, how do I know you
have the KNOWLEDGE, the PASSION, the EXPERIENCE to enlighten us on these
rules? I say to you non believers, I have had my fair share of tinder
practice. I have been introduced via this app to some of the worst and
best men around my 30 mile radius and I know the struggles of writing an
interesting 'ABOUT ME'. So stop doubting, and start having faith.
Wow, that took it out of me.. onto the rules.
1. EVERY PHOTO COUNTS:
The
first thing I noticed when I set up a Tinder profile was the lack of
decent photos I've taken of myself in the past year. In one sense I'm
quite proud that I'm not the type to take and post nice pictures of
myself online. In fact, when out with friends I am known for messing up
the 'pre-night out' photos by pulling a funny face. Unfortunately,
they're not the kind of photos you put up on a dating profile and the
one major drawback of tinder is you can't put photos up anywhere other
than from your facebook. So try your best to find at least four I'd say,
of your nicest faces and stick them up there. My advice is stick to
photos within the year and avoid too many group photos as they cause
distraction. Put in some photos of you doing something you enjoy. In
terms of what you're looking for, make sure you look at all the photos
of the prospective husband. He may look decent in the first picture and
then go downhill from there. I am shallow in saying that, but I have
tried meeting up with a guy I knew I wasn't physically attracted to, and
it just didn't work out.
2. "ABOUT ME" IS EVERYTHING:
The
second thing I noticed was the lack of interesting words I have to
describe myself. For a time I stuck to the whole 'Belfast, Queen's
University' business, but to make an impression and make guys start a
conversation with you it's best to have something interesting. I have
three about me's I interchanged throughout my time on the app. Prepare
to cringe.. 'Do you have a knife? Do you have a fork? Do you want a
spoon?' deepest apologies for that, but it got people talking! 'I'm
taller than you' because I'm a pretty tall gal and so it got me finding
out the prospectives lads heights. 'I have three kids, looking for a
husband to fund their aspiring goals' again, just got them talking and
jokingly brought about that I was interested in more than a hook up.
People are flicking through tinder seeing the same old girls posing in
photos, the way to stand out is a funny, down to earth, showing that you
want to have a bit of banter about me.
3. GET TO KNOW THEM BEFORE MEETING:
Goes
without saying, don't just match with a guy and agree to meet up within
an hour. Take the time. If you don't talk to him how do you know what
he's like, if you're compatible, what you both want to take away from
this etc. I'm a firm believer in waiting as long as you can. Some of my
most successful Tinder dates have been down to getting to know the guy
before and getting rid of the awkwardness that would result if we just
met up as soon as we could. Try and get their facebook or twitter just
to reassure yourself that they are who they say you are.
4. CUDDLES, DOES NOT MEAN CUDDLES:
Learnt
this the hard way, take that whatever way you want. Do NOT agree to
watch and movie and "cuddle" on the first few dates. We all crave a
little affection now and again but don't cave. Like they always say,
spooning leads to forking etc etc. Guys will say anything to get a bit
of action, don't believe it, as cringy as it sounds a good guy will
wait.
5. MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE FIRST TIME:
Kind
of touched upon in point four but I'd recommend a public setting for
the first date. Perhaps a bar or coffee shop. I'm a bit hypocritical
with this one though considering the majority of guys I've met up with
the first time has been at theirs or mine, but at least because they've
all been students their flatmates or my flatmates have always been
around. In terms of going to a bar, don't get too drunk and don't go
home with them after or invite them in after as it just encourages you
both.
6. LAUGH IT OFF:
You're bound
to have a few awkward ones or so bad it's funny meet ups. If he's dead
on you'll both probably laugh about how awkward it is. I went on a date
recently with a guy and he said I was his first tinder date and he
didn't know what I was going to be like or anything. He was nervous but
it was cute and we both found it funny.
7. LOOK AROUND YOU:
Don't
forget about the boys not on the app. I've fell victim into thinking
that the only way I'm going to find a potential boyfriend is on Tinder
due to there being such a variety of guys with different values and
ethos to choose from. Sometimes though you've got to keep your eyes open
for that moment you lock eyes with a guy in the shops or something and
take the risk to go for it and ask him for his number.
